Surviving the Ph.D. Program: Community & Balance
I still remember crying the day I received my acceptance letter from Texas Tech University back in 2021. After four rejections from other schools, I was ready to give up on my PhD dream entirely. But then, during a phone call with my mom—who, as always, was praying for me—the email came through. I had not only been accepted into Texas Tech’s PhD program but was also offered a position as a Graduate Part-Time Instructor. I felt thrilled, proud, and, honestly, a bit terrified. As someone who struggles with social anxiety, the idea of leading a university classroom alone was daunting. I remember feeling totally inadequate. But I was determined to make it work, both for myself and my students. I spent countless days and nights preparing, studying, and building up the courage to step into that classroom.
From day one, my mentors warned me: “A PhD isn’t easy. It demands mental, physical, and social endurance.” They weren’t exaggerating. The pressures of a PhD—juggling research, teaching, coursework, and dissertation milestones—can feel like running an academic marathon. Without community, it can be downright overwhelming. Early on, I realized I couldn’t get through this journey alone. Building connections with faculty, leaning on my peers, and keeping close to friends and family were essential to my success. I had to push myself to reach out for support, and even though it didn’t always feel comfortable, the payoff was invaluable. I found mentors who guided me, peers who understood the grind, and friends who were there to lift me up when things felt unmanageable. Sometimes, building your network means taking the first step, whether it’s introducing yourself, attending social gatherings, or just asking for help. Connecting with others—whether through socializing, traveling for conferences, or taking well-deserved mental health breaks with friends—offers the kind of strength and motivation that makes all the difference.
In addition to leaning on my community, I needed a sustainable way to create work-life balance. I was so focused on doing everything that I quickly found myself on the brink of burnout. After a difficult first semester of constant writing and teaching, I realized that if I didn’t set boundaries, I’d never make it to the finish line. How could I marry my academic responsibilities with my personal life? It was a process of figuring out what was essential at any given moment and letting go of the things that weren’t. And I had to remember that every student faces unique challenges, so I had to also let go of the pressure to conform to anyone else’s timeline. One of my personal hurdles was teaching with social anxiety, and, often, I experienced sleepless nights, panic attacks, battles with depression, and even fainting spells in class. When things became too overwhelming, I reached out for help. I saw a therapist and scheduled mental health breaks—an invaluable lesson: sometimes, giving yourself permission to step back is part of perseverance.
I also took practical steps to create work-life balance. At the start of each semester, I set my teaching schedule as the framework for my time, keeping my office hours on days I’d already be on campus. This left other days for research commitments and—most importantly—my personal life. I protected my “free” days, using them to catch up on rest and do things that make me happy, which included writing. Every Friday, I turned off my email at 6 p.m., no exceptions. Some weekends were strictly for family or relaxation, while others were set aside for writing workshops or quick trips. By my second year, I had attended most of the conferences I wanted to, so in my third year, I focused entirely on finishing my dissertation and staying on track to graduate.
As a PhD student, I also developed a personal study plan that mapped out my weekly workload and coursework goals. I didn’t just read to get through the assigned materials; I thought ahead about how my reading might connect to my dissertation topic. Second, I created a strong note-taking system that made studying for exams a lot easier. These notes became essential when I started prepping for qualifying exams. Third, I made it a point to use the campus resources available to me: the campus library’s document delivery service, the English Department’s writing center, and the university’s travel funds for graduate students. Finally, I sought feedback from professors, peers, and even people outside my program to improve my writing and research. This outside perspective helped me feel connected to others and gave me fresh insight into my work.
As I near graduation—almost a year ahead of schedule—I look back and feel immensely grateful for the growth, challenges, and resilience this journey has brought me. I am incredibly thankful to God for His strength, guidance, and faithfulness throughout this journey; without Him, none of this would have been possible. I’m also deeply grateful for my family, who stood by me through every high and low, and for my friends, mentors, and community, who offered support and encouragement when I needed it most.
Here are some books I’ve read or that I’ve included in my TBR list. These are some useful reads mostly for creative writers. I’ve also added links to blogs I found useful for the qualifying exams.
Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird
Matthew Salesses’ Craft in the Real World
Peter Yang’s The Art of Writing
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